FF9 Valentines Day
by PigMaster
Summary: This is a Fanfiction wrote around Vday but I'm submitting it anyway, even though it isn't Vday. Enjoy


Pigmaster Specials

A Final Fantasy IX Valentines Day

Zidane is on the school bus and sits next to Vivi.

Vivi: You relize today's Valentines Day.

Zidane: Yup.

Vivi: What's wrong with you? You'd usually be girl crazy by now.

Zidane: Nope, this year, I'm gonna act like everybody else expect Kuja. Because... he's... y'know...

Vivi: ... gay.

Zidane: Exactly. I took my medication!

Vivi: Thank goodness for that.

Dagger comes on the bus.

Zidane : I never knew Dagger cut her hair!

Vivi: Oh, god, she's had her hair short ever since she got her voice back!

Zidane: She looks a lot more beautiful, doesn't she?

Vivi: I thought you said you would act like everyone else exept Kuja.

Zidane: Say what?

Spelling test, 9:30.

Dagger was working on words.

Zidane: Need some help?

Dagger: Um... no thanks. I'm fine.

Zidane: Of course you do! Pours jelly over Daggers test. There you go!

Dagger: Gee, thanks.

10:15, Math.

Kids are working on some problems.

Dagger: What does it mean?

Zidane runs up.

Zidane: Let me read it. There once was a banana who lived by the sea. Then he spotted a monkey making a finger painting. Which word do you not understand?

Dagger closes her book on Zidanes head and on the cover has Zidane being attacked by Claira and the title is "The Little Boy who Cried Claira." (Note: If do not know Claira, read "Claira Beast.")

11:30, Art.

Dagger is painting a black mage and Zidane comes up and writes 8 x 473 Beans and Dagger summoned Odin on Zidane.

12:00, Lunch.

Dagger is eating her tofu cheeseburger and Zidane came by with crutches and a broken arm and has a paper with a poorly drawn Zidane and a poorly drawn Dagger eating poorly drawn boloney and it asks"Do you like Boloney?". And so the X-princess slaps the theif.

Zidane came to Vivis' table.

Vivi: So, how's it goin'?

Zidane: Oh yeah. She's... really fallen...for-for-for... MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OH, VIVI! I NEED YOUR HELP! SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME!

Vivi: Why are you asking me?

Zidane: She likes you! See, she made a valentine for you!

Holds up Claira in a diaper and she has stubby little wings and a heart on her chest.

Vivi: Zidane, that's not a valentine. That is a mental patient.

Zidane: I know that! What do you think I am? Stupid?

Claira: Chuckles.

Zidane: Whatchyou laughin at, Willis?

Claira: Rasberries.

To Be Retardedly Continued

12:30, hallway.

Zidane is holding onto Vivis leg while he's just walking.

Zidane: Please? Peeeeeeeeeealssse? Please! In singing voice. Please? In low voice. Please? In high voice. Please? In yelling voice. PLEEEEEEEEEASE? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?

Vivi: Zidane. I can't believe you stopped on your own because you've been doing that FOR 30 MINUTES NOW! 30 MINUTES!

Zidane: Well can you help me? Please?

Vivi: Even if I wanted to, I can't. I have to go to Warriors/Magicians class. See ya later. Walks away.

Zidane: Fine then, I'll just have to do this... myself. No one can make a fool of this Theif!

Freya: Shut up!

Zidane spots Kuja.

Kuja: Hey Zidane.

Zidane: Kuja! You know a lot about girls. Can help me try to get Dagger to like me?

Kuja: Yes.

Zidane: Then, c'mon! Help me!

Kuja: No.

Zidane: But you said you can help me!

Kuja: Yes, I can. But I'm not going to.

Zidane: I'll give you a the latest Limited Too magazine!

Kuja: Oh my gosh! Deal! I'll see you after Social Studies.

After Social Studies...

Zidane: Okay, so what's the deal?

Kuja: There's one thing girls love...

Zidane: Beef? Holds up beef.

Kuja: No.

Zidane: Pickled beef? Holds up pickled beef.

Kuja: No.

Zidane: Corned beef? Holds up corned beef.

Kuja: SILENCE! The one thing girls like is kindness.

Zidane: I have no idea what you said but it sure sounded like a fancy word for pickled corned beef!

1:15, pass out valentine meats.

Mrs. Beatrix: Okay everyone. Pass out your valentine meats. It's Traditional.

Vivi: Um, Mrs. Beatrix, I thought we were supposed to pass candy and cards. What happened with all the meat?

Mrs. Beatrix: Ya don't wanna know.

Zidane enters the classroom.

Zidane: Hey guys! My cousin just got a job at the Meats of Evil company. So... THATS WHY I GOTS YOU ALL MEEEATS! Hehe. Releases all kinds of meats.

Scattering pattys are going after Agirl.

Agirl: In low voice. MEATS OF EVIL! Disappears after the pattys cover her.

Zidane: I have something special for you Dagger. I made for you... Takes out poem. a poem.

Eiko: Haha! Daggers got a boyfriend!

Zidane: It is NOT nice to EMBARESS people. You should apoligize and eat your desk.

Eiko: Yes Zidane! I'm sorry Dagger. Starts gnawing on desk.

Zidane: Ahem, "Roses are purple.  
Violets are white.  
You're so pretty.  
You're worth a fight."

Dagger starts sweating.

Zidane: And I have 4 words to say. You will fall in love with me, no matter what. Isn't that great? Yeah! Has a big smile but Daggers eye only twitches.

Dagger: YOU'RE A BIG FRICKIN FREAK! Swings her rod like a bat and strikes Zidane right out of Gaia and onto Earth into China.

Zidane: Um... Chinese person comes up. Is this China?

Chinese Person: Yeah.

Zidane: Well, I learned a lesson. Never give a valentine to a girl on Valentines Day.

Irvine lands next Zidane.

Irvine: And never not keep your promise.

Zidane: AHH! TIS THE DEMON COWBOY FROM THE REALM BEYOND!

Irvine: Damn! Ya found out!

THE HORRIBLE END OF ENDINGS

A Final Fantasy X Easter 


End file.
